Kicking the “sugar” addiction
The conversation goes like this:
Me: (in my head) That’s it? Didn’t she notice I got a haircut? Plus, my eyeliner went on perfect today, and the scale said I lost 1.2 pounds!
Me: I love you.
Boyfriend, husband, significant other: Aww, that’s really sweet.
Me: (in my head) What?! Why didn’t he say I love you back? Did I do something wrong? But he said I love you yesterday??
Me: I just put up a blog post I worked really hard on.
FB and Twitter: Dead silence.
You see what I was doing, right?
I was desperately looking for a return on my investment.
I was whoring for compliments.
I needed a little sugar, but all I tasted was the bitterness of my own insecurities.
You see, there was a time I wasn’t genuine in my giving. I was giving just to get. The truth is that depending on other people to validate you is an emotional coaster you don’t want to get on. The co-dependency can be downright crippling. You look good only when someone says you look good. You think you are effective after you get a certain amount of social media attention. When you feel needy, you want to hear I love you just to make sure you’re worth those three words.
Like a junkie, I was looking everywhere for the high. It was hard to believe me on my own. But my darlings, here’s another truth: you have the power to meet your own needs. Exercising that power takes time and practice.
Start practicing: What if you, for one day, your intention is to PURELY dole out your love, spirit, kindness and joy?
What if you let go of seeking a response? What if you unchained yourself from needing approval?
Feels good, right?
Breath it in, baby.